Each year, a group of female students performs “The Vagina Monologues” at Stanford. Each year, they scream offers for tickets at me while I’m biking through White Plaza. Each year, I bike pass and actively block their otherwise intolerable shrieks from my mind.
But this year, they’ve succeeded in grabbing my attention, and I am appalled. Today I received an email that channeled the White Plaza shrieks as it demanded, “GOT VAGINA?” Against my better judgment, I opened it. Obnoxiously large print roughly the size of a baby whale filled my screen and announced the opening of “Monologues.” Along with it, there was link to a promotional video. Viewer discretion is advised for reasons I will explain in a moment:
The makers of this video managed to encompass so much I what I dislike about Stanford all in one video. Truly, that is an accomplishment. Every second of the 3:47 video is tacky and in poor taste. Whether it’s the shiny, gold MC Hammer pants serving as the back drop or the utter lack of rhythm or the Where-is-Waldo? hats paired with the Lady Gaga tights and the Mermaid-esque skirts, the video just screams “I’m trying to be quirky, off-beat, and a rebel! Am I trying hard enough?”
Then there’s the use of nearly every slang term for vagina that one can imagine paired with the glorification of the hook-up culture. I’m tempted to classify this as on par with a Lil’ Kim performance. They’re both shamelessly nasty, but I actually think Lil’ Kim is more clever. I don’t think I’ve ever called Lil’ Kim clever, but when one is speaking in relative terms, any description becomes possible.
I cried during this video. I actually cried. It was difficult for me to watch and caused me a bit of physical discomfort. I am sorry I watched it and that is why I advised your discretion: it is dirty, it is painful, and you should really consider that before clicking. For the record, taste in your mouth will be revulsion.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Lil Kim is far more clever, and far more talented.
And Lil Kim never, ever pretends to be working to “empower women”.
I think you definitely could’ve gone with an even stronger word than “tacky” here.
Autumn: I laughed so hard when I read this. Thank you so much for this post. The “Where’s Waldo” remark really took the cake.
Just referring to the female organ in this way is revolting in itself! And as a woman we should be appalled! I watched some of this and had to stop it. It is indeed in extremely poor taste!
Clearly, the video promoting this year’s production of the Vagina Monologues is low budget and not particularly clever or informative. However, your review completely elides the functionality and import of the Vagina Monologues and V-Day as a whole by casting the strong women who involve themselves in the production as females emitting “intolerable shrieks.” Perhaps your active blocking out of this nuisance is what prevented you from comprehending that this international movement is actually aimed at fostering comfortability with female sexuality and genitalia in addition to deconstructing the culture of silence surrounding sexual violence, female genital mutilation, and analogous cultural issues. The “use of nearly every slang term for vagina that one can imagine” and the “glorification of the hook-up culture,” as you call it, is actually meant to be a micro-political act of reclamation of female sexual agency and self-respect for the vulva. By describing the usage of such rhetoric as “shamelessly nasty” you inherently cast the vulva and female genitalia as equally shameful and nasty, thereby undermining any attempts at reclaiming and taking active ownership over female sexuality.
Ultimately, the video is clearly problematic; however, your handling of it, and the Vagina Monologues in general, indicates a severe misunderstanding of the purpose of the event as a whole.