Countdown to Westboro Baptist Church, Day 2: The "Logic" Behind Phelps’ Teaching

Ok, so I know what you’re thinking.   The Westboro Baptist Church is composed of complete wackos, who, as noted in yesterday’s post, hate just about every cultural and religious group in existence.   So how could there possibly be a logic to their “preaching” – which does, in fact, constitute undeniable hate speech?

I wasn’t exactly sure, myself.  But, I reasoned, if WBC calls itself a religious group, then it must have an underlying belief.  A supposed “path to salvation.”  Even bizarre suicide cults like Heaven’s Gate, which believed that members could transcend their earthly existence by hopping onto a UFO during the passing of the Hale-Bopp comet, had core ideals for humanity.  So what were these core beliefs of WBC?

My research began at the quite lengthy FAQ section of Westboro Church’s website (also available****** en español!)  Not surprisingly, whoever wrote the website’s content – which we can probably safely assume reflects some of the beliefs of the group – contradicts him/herself frequently, or at least makes confusing, rather incoherent claims.  For example, their welcome page predicts that: “The Antichrist Bloody Beast Obama…is fixated on making Israel yield to his demand for a two-state solution.” Yet the next sentence states that *“Israel is a savage hypocritical nation of filthy sinners before God, disproportionately engaged in sodomy, abortion, pornography and idolatry…” * So they’re indignant that Obama is ordering Israel around, even though they despise Israel with a passion…?  (And when you throw in the fact that the majority of Israelis consistently support a two-state solution, it makes even less sense.)

But departing from their garbled doomsday rhetoric, their FAQ did actually reveal a few gems of logic.  Essentially, WBC believes that by picketing at soldiers’ funerals and toting hate posters that condemn gays, Jews, and Americans in general, they are dueling out tough love.

Take WBC’s answer to one of the most obvious questions – *“Doesn’t the Bible say to love your neighbor?” *Their response:

Yes. Does that mean to lie to him and tell him what he wants to hear? No. It means to tell him the truth, and warn him to flee from the wrath to come.

This “wrath” that they speak of, however, funnels back to their apocalyptic tenets.  According to their website, the 2003 Supreme Court decision of** Lawrence v. Texas** – which made it legal for adults to engage in private, consensual homosexual activity – sealed America’s fate as a doomed nation.  (… Am I the only one who is shocked that America ever had laws against private, consensual activities of any sort?  Ethical matters aside, that’s just impractical.)

Anyway, the truth that WBC aims to spread is that:

This country, as well as the rest of the world, is in mortal danger – we’re in distress. Our national support of perversity is bringing God’s wrath upon us. September 11 was only the beginning. We have reached the point of no return.

Indeed,** WBC asserts that America’s tolerance** – as well as that of Sweden, Canada, Ireland, Mexico, and Israel – has doomed our country and others.  This explains the picketing at soldiers’ funerals, as the WBC asserts our fallen heroes “joined a fag-infested army to fight for a fag-run country.”  This also explains the number of peculiar signs with praises like “Thank God for 911,” “Thank God for AIDS,” “Thank God for Katrina,” “Thank God for IEDs,” and “Thank God for Dead Soldiers.”  Apparently, all of these natural disasters are God’s way of warning us of our imminent Judgement Day.

Interestingly, however, WBC claims that the group itself does not hate homosexuals.   Despite their obscene signs condemning gays to Hell, they say:

We’re not saying “We hate fags” – we’re saying “God hates fags.” The purest, most exalted form of love is to tell people the truth, especially about weighty matters such as life and death, sin, righteousness, judgment to come, Heaven and Hell.

Wow.  Some love.

And thus, WBC turns to its core foundation:  Fred Phelps’ twisted interpretation of the Bible.  According to WBC:

The Bible preaches hate.

So, in summary, The World According to WBC (aka The Short Version of Phelps’ Logic, for those of you who didn’t actually read the blog post but for some reason skipped to the very end):

  • God is intolerant and does not forgive.
  • Thus, America and all tolerant nations are doomed.
  • WBC does not hate anyone – it’s God who does.
  • Ergo, WBC is on a never-ending “Love Crusade” (yup, that’s what they actually call it) to warn us all of our nation’s evil ways.  Even though it’s already too late.  Which is where they stop making sense again (even by their own twisted logic.)

Ah well.  Almost made it.  So, now that we all understand why WBC is coming to town (sort of), who’s excited?

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